What you can do is move out of your grandmothers basement and try to provide a stable environment for your child instead of depending on them to raise your child. CT allows parents to TPR for no ongoing relationships But the balance of evidence points to a. Modern child support rules expect both parents to be working, and support rules are meant to maintain the standard of living the children had before the divorce, also to equalize living standards across households if the NCP makes a ton of money and the CP doesnt. I sat down and crunched the numbers concerning the monthly expenses for raising my 2 boys, and let me tell you, my ex is getting off easy. See the kids want 5050 I want 5050 and now my kids cant see me but 48 hours every other week and 3 hours on Wed if I can take off work. And if you have had a child out of wedlock, while the woman who bears the child starts out with custody, fathers can . With the gender equality movement why are men still paying support? We are going to have to take it. Thank GOD, OMalley is out and Hogan is in!!! We areout the door planning another activity. Sorry youve been done so wrong that your mind has been clouded. It just goes to show you. The policies, while necessary themselves, would probably benefit from learning how to adapt with the times in order to maintain a level of flexibility based on case-by-case scenarios. The woman make the decision wheather to keep the child and the man have no power in that final decision. My son is with me 3 months a year. Remember boys never love them , or impregnate them , and under no circumstances shall you sign the marriage certificate . Unbelievable. For me, thats with the 20k but at the end of the day, what that system puts well intended fathers through is brutal and I sometimes wonder if the system is part of the reason some people just lose it and do crazy things. When I called to try to at least ask for some of it back there was a guy and he was talking to me really rude like really rude I got mad because earlier I had spoken to 2 other people and were treating me very unfairly over the phone they didnt even give me time to explain my situation. There needs to be something much more child specific. Its a never ending bullshit cycle judges in SC dont have to go through dss. If Rose was a man your response would be completely different. It not my choice to have every visitation center say sorry your an abuser we will not supervise Stop blaming the mom for your own failure to show up. That is why they fight shared parenting legislation!? What noncustodial father would have been given this treatment? Check it out! The judge chastised my ex and the crown attorney for trying to overturn a family court order in a criminal court and told the crown to stop catering to all these woman. This is biological. I came into his life when the child was just 3 months old and it wasnt long before I realized how biased the system really is. The common denominator is not gender, it is parents, and a devious, maniacal government court system, which promotes drama and litigation instead of healthy parenting and avoidance of major life-altering custody disputes, which never have the childrens wellbeing at heart. My older cousin put himself on child support because his babys mother was upset that he wanted nothing to do with her but everything to do with their son so she started threatening him that he wouldnt be allowed to see him anymore. Try 110 a week. If India passes new law (already tabled in parliamen) then a wife can even claim property of in-laws including parental and ancestrel property of husband which is today limited to pre and post marriage property of husband only. its four times more deadly for a man then. This article will discuss Illinois Child Support Laws and explain the Illinois Child Support Laws that went into effect on January 1st, 2022, which requires that during child support proceedings parents must obtain or maintain health insurance . This includes food, health insurance, transportation to school, and one third of the utilities. The judge of course signs a warrant for arrest, and also a sizeable lien on my house for the exs attorney and legal fees, and liquidated damages. I think child support is only necessary if one parent refuses visitation and the other parent is completely left responsible for the children. The harsh reality is that non of our law makers have the balls to make the changes that are truely in the best interest of the children in fear of losing votes. Men have to pay but they have no say. He refused to have it fixed, even when I offered to pay him back in three days s. I couldnt bear watching my young toddler and other kids sweat for a day! Yes! Hint it aint the one footing the bill, I dont even have kids or have to pay child support and I can see that the laws are so unfair and sexiest its not even funny women that use the kids as pay checks are the lowest form of beings but the government awards them for doing so this generation is the hand out generation it is now normal for girls to pop out a couple of babys get free housing, schooling, insurance, food and phones plus get a hefty child support payment. Ive always paid. This is usually the person who receives child benefit for that child. Move to TN. Shes getting 45% of your net. My paprents got divorce about 5 years ago and up until 3 years ago, my mother had custody. Of course, who wouldnt want to go do fun things when they get to see their kids? It sounds like a . It really all has to do with corruption in the courts and who the judge happens to be. Example my husband pays support for a child which is half of his income. Also If the female has the right to anything then the male should have equal right period. This varies from state to state. If youre paying something somewhat reasonable, usually at all, they dont go after you. That only means, to look in the mirror, if that characterization applies. Of course she has never taken me up on it thought. Ive seen this. If the custodial parent cant be bothered to document and substantiate actual costs then they should get either nothing or 50% of a basic formula for what the average costs of a childs educational and healthcare are for whatever age. I contacted him through his email and he assured me that in two days time my boyfriend is going to leave the other girl and come back to me and it was a very great surprise to see my boyfriend coming back to me after two days. I am not a perfect parent, but I could never treat my kids this way. As far as their concerned, the system isnt broke, infact it just fine. Involvement and support are dealt with completely separately. I like I said dont not care if my kids father pays me child support, because I know that its what keeps me going everyday. I just dont understand, its your child and its only 20%. Therefore it should be no problem for you to do the right thing and give up your parental rights while sending a large portion of your income to your sons father to do as he wishes with. Yet stated I make more than she does, I dont need a new car I just want something fair. So enter a judges job But its just a job to the judge so status quo is what you get. I got them because of their mother crazy action. Women are good for wanting more than equal rights for themselves, but dont want men to be treated equal if women are expected to pay support. Way to go legal system. This means that the paying parent (almost always the father) winds up with standard parenting time or can have the children more but doesnt have the economic resources appropriate for the expenses he will have on the children. The best answer so far madam, I like it, both should share responsibility, its ethical and moral responsibility if Courts and Law enforcement who are feminists by nature involve it becomes mess than anything else. Go do well and quit complaining about unequal laws. So that red flag number two in court. After the deductions come out of my check (60%) and I pay my bills I am left with $360 a month for gas, groceries, and entertainment for the kids. However, any conversation with his ex would turn into I have custody, I will raise them how I want.. So what happens when children hit school age and daycare is no longer needed? Daycare, my foot. The FEDS help the states to ensure dad pays. Domestic relations should investigate her by searching her ss# and see for themselves. I think not. Mindi, thank you for standing up for fathers. Not to mention she has a college education and substitute teaching certificate I work construction so my hours dont reflect yearly pay. child related expenses should be equally divided and same with medical and dental care. I sat and watched a judge laugh it up all buddy-buddy with 3 dads behind on support. Been through almost 4 years ago from assistive living in Vermont. Notice IM NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT MY CHILDREN whom I nursed and sang to as infants etcI loved being a mom and business woman and soldier. How come they dont force the lazy welfare kings and queens to get a job, any job to pay welfare back?????! Her dad and I were together for 6 years and went our separate ways when she was turning 4 years old. I pawned my truck, all that i had to my name, and he sent cps out the next day to figure out why i was not in jaik where he wanted me. What business it is of the states to decide how and where your child is raised. I did the same thing. As a woman, I am personally sick of certain women( not all) taking good honest men for all their worth just because these men had had children with them. Im in the army married 15 years with 2 teenagers. To bring the courts on board, the state collection office was authorized to make payments to the courts for hearing child support cases. For the next 8 years while he is in there most of his support responsibilities got erased . Hey Dan, I feel you. It is outrageous so even suggest that you shouldnt have to pay for supporting your child because your ex works hard. The ex refuses to certify for bankruptcy court that my CS is current. Also, if the father has recently lost his job or suffered a large decrease in income, this may too be grounds for abolishing the payments. Her father NEVER paid one penny towards any medical expenses. Most jobs dont pay that. So it sounds as though women should think of the possibilities before exploring their sexuality. Then see how many ask for money from the ex to support the children. Child support seems unfair, but every good parent gives every cent he or she can to raise children. If they didnt want the above, they would have listened to Karen DeCrow. Why is she entitled to it? I had a daughter with my now ex wife while in the service, she decided to divorce me on my first deployment without discussing it with me before I left. We rarely date, go out or have me time; in fact, the children ARE our lives (that is, if the parenting is appropriate). Lisa Karges, Florida Resident Partner - Tampa, FL. Women can get men fired from a job easily with just a mere sexual harassment allegation. My ex unless shes smooching off another man will go into financial hardship when the support ends. The second, a young man who claimed his ex was supposed to be sending papers for him to sign over his rights so her husband could adopt and she has not followed through in a timely manor, $300 perge 30 days. Till it ends though, a change is badly needed as fathers out there shouldnt have to go through this. They NEED TO BE CHANGED or at least have these concerns be brought to light.. I believe in equal rights but for every gender, race or religion. Neither parent should benefit from the arrangement, only the child. The Federal Parent Locator Service uses a national database to track down noncustodial parents to enforce payments. Praying for your x to become a better man, Lady I worked 2 jobs for 18 yrs cooked, cleaned helped kids with homework while ex slept in or stayed in pajamas all week. I cant even abbreviate my situation, other than to say my arrears keep climbing ($25,000.00) I can not even register my car and I am driving for a ride share now on top of trying to make some salesLOL, and CS does not care! Her full intention on marrying him was do live on his salary. So if they are at grams perhaps she is helping him. Dont reproduce with someone who cant support a child if you dont want to have to pay back welfare, its really that simple. The ex refused to settle after recieving the court finding of fact, and the financial discovery revealing that the ex spent my childs college fund to make a down payment on a house for our child. The courts need to take into account all of the other broad complexities of a situation.. For example the federal governmetn says 12,000 a year is plenty for a single person to live off of, and then they have other numbers for familes with 1,2 or more children on what a single or family should be able to live off of. Im a father. Or is it just to boost our industrial prison system? Child support may be ordered when the parents are separated, have never lived together, or are in divorce, dissolution of marriage, annulment, or in the midst of paternity and legal separation cases. No tax breaks for the dads. View a full listing of offices nationwide. But not when it has varifilable proof that the fathers income has gone down . Even when the mom proves shes an unfit parent, family court doesnt care. This should be the new law. Thats half my take home too! Attorney services are provided by licensed attorneys in every state where Cordell & Cordell offices are located. If you have the kids 7 nights per fortnight, you're assumed to be covering 50% of their costs through direct care. HELL NO!! Just type in US Department of Justice 9 page memo March 14 2016 in the search. Sometimes, I am confued whether we (India) copied laws from India or US copied our laws. Child support is corrupt and judges are afraid of women bashing or what may be taken as that so they trow the book at us men. That is the lie the court and its band of merry thieves in the Support Collections Unit tell non-custodial parents who most often happen to be fathers. Fast forward to the childs 8th year and now my cousin is in between jobs but is currently working on getting his CDL license. The problem is that 50/50 is not the default and men have to bankrupt themselves in the hope of obtaining custody of their own children! But the simple fact she had to go ask for help is heart wrenching enough, what they receive in welfare is the bare minimum to live on, it doesnt provide a luxurious life as most of you say. Some fall victim to illness, job loss, accidents, and disasters and other uncontrollable things. Fine, already have them on medical, then not even two days ago before the first payment, they send me a notice to pay all,chikd support or they are sending it to credit bereaus. I have two daughters with two different mothers. We have a 1970s narrative about a 2010s reality, Edin said. oh ya.. that is not bitterness that is a fact. We will not be demonized for our struggles. I dont believe children should have to live back and forth with parents. If dads are the primary parent- i.e. He went off and got married, now he has 23 kids. So it isnt about whats best for the kid? Government has been given too too much power. There is probably an applicable claims statute meaning you have to first file a claim against the county and it has to be denied before you can proceed to file an action (99.9% of all claims are denied by the county at the last possible moment). Feminists? Someone had to carry the baby till birth. Ive always said and many women will disagree but if the father wants to give me money then so be it but if he doesnt o well. Im sorry that your son is thrown into a multiple household situation that is only hurting him. I let her keep the house and she stabbed me in the back and talked to the kids behind my back about where they would live. The child support system covers about a quarter of American children, and can provide a crucial safety net for some families. Yeah me too they have taken my children and all my money. I just dont see how the Courts expect us to be able to make AND have a normal relationship with our kids. the way things are set now is a castle and shack effect and needs immediate attention in the change department! I have been paying child support for 16 years now always been there for my kids tried and tried to make a family life with their mother it didnt work like most but I pick them up every two weeks and once for a few hours during the week try to spend as much time with them as I can I also have two others and a step daughter so I have now but I love my kids they are my world but I have asthma real bad and it has gotten a lot worse to the point that I lost my job a year and a half ago so I havent been able to make support payments so I decided to sign up for disability didnt know what else to do so I called child support office told them what was going on they told me no problem just keep them informed and I thought ok sounds good about two months later I get served my my local sheriff I have a court case for my child support so I called the child support office they said it was a mistake and told me to just go it would be taken care of so I bring my letter from my attorney showing I am trying to get disability benefits well they didnt want to see it the prosecutor refused to look at it and when I told them what the child support office had told me about it mistakenly went threw I was pretty much called a liar and to shut my mouth so what other choice did I have I shut my mouth so when I went back for the second time I was very confused I had no idea what they wanted from me I asked for a lawyer before court proceedings because like I said I had no clue what I was doing and I was turned down immediately and then I was surprised when the judge ask for the paper of proof from my attorney showing I was currently signed up for disability I was speech less because it was the same paper I tried to show them the first time and they refused to except it and this time I didnt bring it I dont think they wanted it . I had to apply for snap/TANF. Rent should be taken out of the equation,both parents need a place to live and see there children,to me this is the biggest flaw in child support,I had full custody of my daughter since 5 her mom paid me $150 a month thats it. So now Ive heard that shes going to serve me child support papers but I havent been served as yet so I guess thats yet to come. The family court judge then denied my parenting time credit and credit for the health insurance that I provide for my children because my ex-wife is voluntarily unemployed, and is using the child support to support herself and her paramour. The child suppprt office in South Bend, Indiana has been rude, and steretypical in being pro-woman, anti man. Take what you are feeling, times it by two and now you know how most men feel. Here at Fathers for Equal Rights we believe that every parent, be they non-custodial or custodial, has a duty to financially and emotionally support his or her children. There was a point where I think he stopped bathing. He had custody because moms now husband is a pedophile, and so the children were placed w/ him and but the husband of mom took a test in Nebraska due to her pleas w the courts the kids need her etc and he passed to be safe around kids(who knew there was such a test, but he lives w them and is a lifetime register offender), so mom taught the kids what lies say to get removed from dad and have them beg to be placed w her family and it worked. First off you are talking about child support and what is wrong with the laws and then go on to talk about custody. They should have to sit behind bars until its paid ! I just know that I did not create/produce her alone and I shouldnt have to take care of her alone. My wifes car and a car I did not know was in the driveway. You see, most opposing attorneys will run your credit score to asssess how juicy a target you are in order to get sued and your ability to pay, prior to compiling that 600 page compliant in court against you. The order also stated I was over $20,000 in debt, my passport was revoked, tax refunds began being intercepted, 40% of paycheck garnished the list goes on. All this state funded support also places a burden on the noncustodial parent to replace that support when the custodial parent is more than capable of providing some type of support to at least even the blow. Theres a lot that needs to change if we really want to do what the research shows is best for children. Research has shown that men with outstanding child support debts tend to be less involved in their childrens lives. And the court in Arkansas doesnt care at all that we have 6 children now. the country needs to adopt no child support in majority of cases. Focusing on the child's best interests and a parent's obligation to provide timely financial disclosure, Canada's highest court made it clear that parents must pay child support consistent with their income. Even if the man possesses ALL the means of support for the children, more often than not the children are awarded to the mothers. I pay $1,741 per month for two kids when the mother makes over $140k a year. If I was still with the woman, and I was laid off for a period of time, would she, being in the same house with me, be punishing me for not having a job by billing me thousands of dollars more? The family court system often presumes that Black fathers have little involvement with their children, which directly affects the outcome of many divorce & custody cases. Your money is good enough but youre not. Sisters and (brothers) who are raising your children alone; keep the faith. A parent should be able to see their kids if they are paying, paternity testing should be done before payment is received, if arrearages are getting high( then a caseworker should call and ask for a modification). Its not about you and getting what you want. There are support for the divorce side which wasnt helpful for my case. In my state the father is subject to license suspension, penalties and fines, and jail time if the support amount is not current. SHE abandoned him and for no reason; I have been married to my husband for 16 years and he has never even raised his voice to me, he is so kind and gentle. As soon as the realty sets in that you cant have your cake and eat it too, theyll be done. 1. Unfair child support guidelines. Like that just happens, she used his money and swindling the government for it. It is very hard to believe that 72 percent of fathers over that 10-year period were horrible parents who didn't want or deserve to see their children any more than that. She can move on with her income, mg income and the new mans income, they like that idea. She was 34, and I was 16. 1) It is mind boggling to me that people are complaining about $1,000/month child support when their ex has full custody. He put himself there by his own bad choices he should not be rewarded by lowering his,support to almost zero. Males get no choice in what you do. You should be paying like 1160 to the mom. The system is so messed up . Some fathers do not even know they have a child until they receive a notice for past due child support. We also split any extra costs (medical, etc.) And 100% would gladly take care of my kids every night and i would not want a dime from her. I know it sounds totally crazy to guys who dont actually do the work of raising children themselves, but hand it off to their moms, gfs, and exes: if youve got care of a child, youre going to make less money. it is mebut for the 16th year I cant repair my car or get a new one because the state took my federal taxes in escrow again and its more than my entire arrearages which I refuse to pay for since noone can even tell me where to find my children because apparently visitation and obsconding from court appointed visitations is an allowable choice in our state, which should be rewarded for ruining your children. For some people its worth it to be happy, but its not easy. My wife has all these programs she has to do an they say she still has to go find work so there saying ahes not allowed to sleep cause she has appoinments everyday of the week an then her daughter on the weekends. The child support system is absolutely broken. You can have a wonderful, healthy relationship with someone with whom you dont reside. But I studied all of this and fought it like no other I pay for a majority of my girls clothes, coats ECT. And while I agree, dont have kids if you dont want child support easy to say, like you never put your pens in the wrong girl? Payments can be made by cash, check, bank transfer, direct deposit, Venmo, or Zelle. You file a support modification to eliminate the daycare portion. You shouldve taken pictures of those. Ive moved my son back and forth to college (3 hrs away) and not one time has his father offered to move him or assist. She also became addicted to drugs. Child Support is a SCAM! 1. Its a slippery slope, Im OK if I can keep my income up for next 6-10 years. I am afraid that sharing it will upset too many people but want to show support. My oldest daughter was diagnosed with Autism, FASD, and static encephalathy. I am still paying arrearages from being closed down in construction and my kids are 25 and 27 on there on and Im a great farther. title IV-D of the social security act sad sad day. My X uses me as a cash machine. even knowing this who youre gonna call? I had full custody of my youngest daughter until her maternal grandmother in Kentucky decides to file for custody, therefore began the scenario of stating that its not right for a little girl to grow up alone with her young father (Im 27) and that her and her husband can provide a better life. without any financial help. It took five years to get a final judgment and he only paid five years of support. Helping him while he is in between jobs but is currently working on getting his CDL license refuses! Then the male should have to sit behind bars until its paid swindling the government it! Theres a lot that needs to be and who the judge happens to be I just want something.. 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